Variations on a Theme; or, Why do we Lie?
Although the original topic by our reader was "Why are women evil", I'm going to take it in a slightly more neutral direction, and discuss why it is that each of the genders lie to the other. We all do it, every day, to lots of people, for a whole hell of a lot of reasons. Sometimes it's entirely necessary, it's true. In relationships, it can be both the magic glue and the less-magic hammer, depending on the style and caliber of the lie. Your hips may not look slim, but we're not going to tell you---that's fine, even expected. Your hips don't look slim, so I'm having an affair with your sister--not so fine, not so expected, and a rather substantial lie.
It's my contention that most males and most females lie for entirely different reasons. The female role (if we are to believe stereotypes that sometimes help) is to nurture and protect. This is why the major lies from the female side of the relationship tend to be about the male ego. No, honey, it's okay, it happens to everyone sometimes, it isn't a big deal. Yes, you're the best I've ever had. No, I think you're far more intelligent than he is. You deserve the job. And so on and so forth.
The male psyche, however, seems to be stereotypically incompetent with regard to comfort. Apparently we just don't do it as well as we should. Our lies, instead, seem to be defensive mechanisms to keep from getting hurt. Men lie to keep from being maced or emasculated, to escape injury from that proverbially scorned woman's fury. We conceal the beer on our breaths, the lipstick on our cheeks, the emptiness in our wallets, and we do it not because we are afraid of hurting our partner's feeling, but because we don't want to hurt our own "feeling" things.
Is that necessarily true, though? Is it at all possible that men lie this way so that they don't hurt the woman's feelings for acting like, well, men? Is it possible that on some level, we don't want to tell the girl that she's bad in bed, that her sister is more attractive than she is, simply for the reason we don't want to hurt them? It seems that biologically, we have an imperative to have sex with lots of women, but then protect them from the wild and themselves so our progeny can be born. Is it possible, then, that the male lie is meant to protect and defend each woman with whom a particular man has had sex?
I suppose I've taken this far afield, and I leave it to my good associate to take up another or correlative position on the matter. As always, we welcome your opinions.
Although the original topic by our reader was "Why are women evil", I'm going to take it in a slightly more neutral direction, and discuss why it is that each of the genders lie to the other. We all do it, every day, to lots of people, for a whole hell of a lot of reasons. Sometimes it's entirely necessary, it's true. In relationships, it can be both the magic glue and the less-magic hammer, depending on the style and caliber of the lie. Your hips may not look slim, but we're not going to tell you---that's fine, even expected. Your hips don't look slim, so I'm having an affair with your sister--not so fine, not so expected, and a rather substantial lie.
It's my contention that most males and most females lie for entirely different reasons. The female role (if we are to believe stereotypes that sometimes help) is to nurture and protect. This is why the major lies from the female side of the relationship tend to be about the male ego. No, honey, it's okay, it happens to everyone sometimes, it isn't a big deal. Yes, you're the best I've ever had. No, I think you're far more intelligent than he is. You deserve the job. And so on and so forth.
The male psyche, however, seems to be stereotypically incompetent with regard to comfort. Apparently we just don't do it as well as we should. Our lies, instead, seem to be defensive mechanisms to keep from getting hurt. Men lie to keep from being maced or emasculated, to escape injury from that proverbially scorned woman's fury. We conceal the beer on our breaths, the lipstick on our cheeks, the emptiness in our wallets, and we do it not because we are afraid of hurting our partner's feeling, but because we don't want to hurt our own "feeling" things.
Is that necessarily true, though? Is it at all possible that men lie this way so that they don't hurt the woman's feelings for acting like, well, men? Is it possible that on some level, we don't want to tell the girl that she's bad in bed, that her sister is more attractive than she is, simply for the reason we don't want to hurt them? It seems that biologically, we have an imperative to have sex with lots of women, but then protect them from the wild and themselves so our progeny can be born. Is it possible, then, that the male lie is meant to protect and defend each woman with whom a particular man has had sex?
I suppose I've taken this far afield, and I leave it to my good associate to take up another or correlative position on the matter. As always, we welcome your opinions.
posted by Unknown at
1:07 AM
